Being nice is not all that nice

Yes. I am saying this and my parents might just disown me for saying something like this. My parents are one such breed who would ask even their backstabbers, have you had your lunch? If not you may join us and serve them killing their own appetite. And so is my bro and now here i am saying this, "being nice is not all that nice."
Just imagine you trying to help someone in distress and they mug you or cheat you. This has happened to me quite a few times, where i have been betrayed by those whom i had extended my hands to help.
Although such cheating experiences are a few with me, the intellectual theft has been a lot. By intellectual theft, I mean the ones in the corporate world. When you see someone stuck in some process issues, or needs some idea and with common sense, you resolve the issue. However, the same idea is shared with a larger group and that person takes away the credit without even mentioning a word about you.

Isn't this a theft?
Isn't this cheating?
Isn't this backstabbing?
Experiencing this, i would never go forward to help someone personally or professionally now. Not that i am craving for attention or appreciation. But it feels bad so i decide not to be nice when there is need. But is this the solution? I am not sure.

How to resolve this?
How to handle this?
And how to not get affected by this?

So here is an open question for anybody to answer 

A new chapter, a new begining

After a long break from writing my personal blog, I am here again. So what took me so long and what brought me back.

What took so long is the fact that there was nothing path breaking or of such an extreme impact that I could share here. And what brought me here today is a small video of a lady called Beth Dun from Hubspot. Sometimes, all that you need in life is a small very small push. She had beautifully said in a video of hers - 'Write every day'. Its OK even if you are compromising on the quality, but write every day. If not a para, at least a word. This is what will keep you ticking like a clock.

Now that I decided to write everyday, I was initially wondering what to write about. Then decided to write one thing I learned or experienced this day. Suddenly, I realized I have soooo much to share from a single day. So starting this new series of new me with this post -

• Sober is a word you use in relevance to alcohol itself and Somber is the right word usage when you are trying to say someone or something is simple and toned down. 
• I felt a crow in my hand for the first time. A helpless crow, stuck between a branch screaming for help. All that i did was freeing it from the branches, but not sure if the crow was actually freed or killed for being touched by a human.
• A random lady on the street aged around 60 trying to cross the road. She was nothing special, nothing different, but I felt like I saw the same expression of the helpless crow on her face. Felt like offering her a lift, but she seemed like she was waiting for someone. I think i should have atleast asked.
• The last learning of the day, a mother is a mother and rest are just others. I remember my mother saying its ok if you spend on something if that is for your comfort and safety. But others, others are just others, who would choose a thing over a human.

I know there is nothing so amazing in this post. But this is just the beginning. Hopefully

Today's green patch is tommorrows barren land

What looks like a greener pasture to you today might turn out to be a piece of barren land when you stand on it tomorrow!

Seriously, human desires, wishes, dreams, aspirations have no boundaries, and can never be fulfilled. I remember how happy I was when my dad bought me a purple shaded ladybird cycle, when I was in my 9th std. The happiness sustained just for two years, as when in college I wished to ride an Activa and not a ladybird. My dad bought me a bike, when I was in college and I dreamt of driving a car. Today I am driving a car, hoping to drive a luxurious one some day. I am sure that when that day comes, when I will be driving a posh SUV on Indian roads, I would be cursing the day I learnt to drive and hire a driver to ferry me around.

The grass always looks greener on the other side!
When you step on that green patch, you see greenery somewhere else, and just barren land under your foot.

I was a crime reporter, till about two months back. Although I enjoyed my job, I always envied those who were into a 9 to 5 job and had weekends off. While they spent their weekends relaxing I used to work 24 hrs a day, whether I was physically present in office or not.I was jealous, because, although I used to work for longer hours I was being paid in pittance. I was jealous, I was angry, I was frustrated....

I ended my career in journalism to move into a more secured job. Today, even I work from 9 to 5 and have the entire weekends to myself. But I am still not happy. The expressions from anger, jealous, frustration have changed to boredom, lack of satisfaction, a feeling of being unproductive...

Today I look back and when I compare myself from a crime reporter to an editorial head of a mechanical publication I realise this land of boredom was my lush green pasture few months back.

Probably its the initial stage feeling. I have sown some seeds of happiness and with time I shall also reap some green patches on this barren land..... Hopefully :)

Crime reporting was my first love and that will always be cherished. But time to move on...

ends///

Humara Kuttha Humari gali me Sher

Humara Kuttha humari gali me sher.... But what happens when the kuttha encounters a real sher...

The ilakha... Mangalore:

We know Indian roads are flooded with maniacs and a lil ignorance can leave you in deep shit. Hailing from the city known for its hospitality as well as breeding the underworlds, I certainly take pride being associated with this city.

Recently on a family vacation while we were driving on a National Highway in Mangalore, we were hit by a milk truck. Mistake was from either sides. We were overtaking the truck from the left which was in turn overtaking another vehicle from the left side itself.

A minor miscalculation and our car's back brushed with the tiers of the truck and leaving a dent we put our vehicles to halt.

Survival of the fittest

* The basic reflex... the truck driver noticed our vehicle was from Bangalore and started a fight in Kannada : one point to them. We replied in Tulu : one point for us.

* They pointed we overtook from left, our mistake. We replied even they were overtaking from left without any indicator : scores levelled.

* They said they will pay only 500 . We demanded 2000.

* They refuse to pay : we agreed, but demanded a police complaint for demanding insurance.

The fight was however settled by the smiling sibling of the driver at Rs 1500. The Kutha was smart, but we the lions obviously dominated.

Moral of the story

In a road accident, no matter who is at fault, the smarter one wins. They thought of overpowering us with their local friends, as we were outsiders. The dog did try to gather its friends to scare us.

But we the shers knew, the truck drivers were working on deadlines and would never agree for a police complaint. We knew we were at fault, but unfortunately for them we were smarter. AT the end, the dog had to sneak out while the Lions dominated. After all we have our roots there.

Celebrating Womenhood..... Or are we?

100 years of women and womanhood was celebrated on 8 March 2011. Every store had special offers for the women, events dedicated to the better sex on TV, radio and print. Suddenly every person, a stalker, a rapist, a khaki clad, a concerned father, a loving brother and just another person.... all seemed to have dedicated their day to the women in their life and also those not in their life.

Being a crime reporter and specifically a lady crime reporter, I did not celebrate the womanhood. Obviously because i did not find one good reason to do so. After seeing crime with extreme close proximity, its hard to believe that women hood is actually celebrated.

I meet a cop : the one who is supposed make people feel secure. But surprisingly i feel insecure with the dirty stare i get in return. I visit a court and see the black and white clad lawyers stalking at me. Just like the crows on your roof top when you are trying to drop something out. I visit my office, i see my senior a boob starer making you feel uncomfortable despite covering every part of your skin. On Women's day i saw NO difference.

When women talk for their rights, men argue and at the end of their conversation they term you a feminist. A man argues and when comes close to his defeat, he hits your week spot. If he still loses, then the girl's image is tarnished big time. Men talk about equality, but they are certainly the ones who cant digest women's growth.

A father rapes his daughter, a husband hacks wife's id to keep a check on her, a senior officer seeks sexual favours in reputed Institution, failing which a peon is made to head a post graduate. It happens till date and hopefully not further.

I am sure to hurt many sentiments of people whom I know, who belong to the stronger sex. No matter how liberated they are in their thinking, the stigma still prevails. I say with no exceptions... only hoping that there are exceptions.

Stone heart.... Am I ???

Someone called me stone hearted today!

Although i dont like this person, a lawyer who just tries to grab an oppurtunity to shake hands with me and stand next to me, he called me i am stone hearted. The reason being that i had refused to receive his calls, for obvious reasons. But his words still echo in my head as i really think if I have become stone hearted.

Every job has its good and the ugly side. Being a crime reporter i have faced more of the ugly side than the beatiful one. Surving your day hoping some crime happens on that day so that i could meet my deadlines and file something for the day. I think I have become stone hearted.

Been in the profession and seriously being in the profession, i really think i have become a lesser human. Death has become a routine, and my day doesnt end without suicide, murder, rape or the likes.

Although i knew about this creeping in, I could ignore unless people started pointing out inhumanity in me... Time to move on with no regrets and turn more humane...

Section 377

From now on its safer walking with the opposite  gender because people will not doubt your sexuality! I heard people saying this on the evening of June 2, 2009 when the section 377 was read down to decriminalise same sex behaviour among consenting adults in a historic judgement by the High Court of Delhi.  

I wonder if this order was made to announce whether you are straight or not.. 

the motive of this order was something else... Duh! 

I don't understand what and how is this order gonna affect a common person like you and me. Even after the High court orders, the sun and moon are still in the sky, you and me walking on the streets and birds are still flying in the air leading their same old life. Of course those who actually fought for this and are not a man and woman must be celebrating their IDENTITY. So what. 

Just flipping the channels today, I saw that so called "Baba Ramdev" will be appealing against this decriminalising gay rights. I wonder what draws a baba's interest into this. I guess his asanas and his pravachans are not getting him enough publicity these days. 

Each day we do find these people(the other sex) begging near signals and trains demanding money and when you refuse they blurt out curses. But somewhere in the bottom of the heart I am sure all of us would feel sorry at them and even discuss that they have no other option, but beg and give away some chillars expecting some blessings in return. Aren't you happy, after this order, their number in the signals might come down?

If this order helps them gain an identity, acceptability and a freedom to live their own life,  convinced that they will not be termed as criminals, then how does it spoil or any way affect  our society!  

I am sure many senior citizens are against this, considering it as something vulgar, but end of the day its not about choosing their sexuality, but being and living with it.!!

Its not easy to put ourselves in their shoes, but soooo many people who call themselves belonging to the other sex cannot be wrong. 

Its high time people accept the change and live their own life and the "Bam Bam bole Babas" need a lil more asanas to widen their vision and think beyond mantras and asanas. For their kind information, even our epics have characters from other gender!!!

Crime reporters are not GOD

I am not such an established crime reporter yet, but still have begun to feel the heat of this profession. In this four months' experience as a crime reporter with The New Indian Express I have learnt that people consider us to be very much like God. I mean ... Anybody has a problem, they rush to us.
Talking about my latest experience, one of our office managers, came to me saying that his wife's chain was snatched while she was walking towards her residence. Alright, like a decent reporter , I jotted down every detail from where she was coming from, how was the chain, where was she going, what time, which direction etc etc etc. Though our paper has stopped writing about the chain snatching complaints (Cos it is very comman and our paper lacks the space) I wrote this one which even got published. The story should have ended here right?
Wrong, I have this man asking me as what happened to his chain.. For God sake how would I know that? I am not the one who snatched. Did you tell the commissioner? did they find the chain? when will I get it? and with a zillion such questions, this man haunts me everyday. Seriously, even I am praying to God that let this man get hsi chain as soon as possible, so that I am spared...
This is just an example, we face such problems each day, where people approach us with a lot of hope and expectations without understanding that we too are just like them, serving a job.

Rakshita Adyanthaya